Howdy strangers. My Mother-in-law’s journey came to the end of the road in October. If you are new or have followed some, she had breast cancer and Myasthenia gravis. She battled for 16 years.
Have you ever been exposed to the 2-children syndrome (as we refer to it)? Some of you have experienced it and are nodding you heads, some are wondering what in the blazes is she talking about. I am referring to parents who only have 2 children, especially when they are the same sex.
One child is the reliable one, the one they turn to for important matters, the child who gets the job done, and they can count on. This child they never fail to criticize, nothing is ever good enough to earn praise (and believe me they live to receive that praise!)
The other is the favored child, the one who is never criticized, who can do no wrong. The child who intentionally leaves all the responsibility to their sibling, it’s not their job – they’re too busy to be bothered, but is there with their hand out to “get their share”.
Sound familiar for any of you? It is so common, we have seen it so often in our lives. Well, my husband was the “reliable one”. It wasn’t an easy journey for him, but I am glad that my schedule was flexible enough to accommodate most of her needs. The last six months, she required around the clock care. It’s a good thing she lived with us, we were able to be there for her. She asked to be able to pass from this life in her own bed. My husband was able to make that happen for her and she passed peacefully where she wanted to be.
My husband is still working through all the financials and chores that need to be done. It is an adjustment for him, and me too yes. The holiday’s were difficult, the room empty. Family filled that gaping hole with loud boisterous laughing and fun filled companionship. We still go to tell her we have an errand to run, things of that sort. Our dog Chewbacca for weeks, went to her room to check on her, he was confused that she was never there anymore.
Adjustments of every sort are on the menu daily. But, this too will slowly become a seamless transition and the healing will continue with remembering the fonder memories. Also, the comfort of knowing with certainty, that you did all that was asked of you every time!
God Bless and here’s to a great New Year! Cyn