Howdy strangers.  My Mother-in-law’s journey came to the end of the road in October.  If you are new or have followed some, she had breast cancer and Myasthenia gravis.  She battled for 16 years.

Have you ever been exposed to the 2-children syndrome (as we refer to it)?  Some of you have experienced it and are nodding you heads, some are wondering what in the blazes is she talking about.  I am referring to parents who only have 2 children, especially when they are the same sex.

One child is the reliable one, the one they turn to for important matters, the child who gets the job done, and they can count on.  This child they never fail to criticize, nothing is ever good enough to earn praise (and believe me they live to receive that praise!)

The other is the favored child, the one who is never criticized, who can do no wrong.  The child who intentionally leaves all the responsibility to their sibling, it’s not their job – they’re too busy to be bothered, but is there with their hand out to “get their share”.

Sound familiar for any of you?  It is so common, we have seen it so often in our lives.  Well, my husband was the “reliable one”.  It wasn’t an easy journey for him, but I am glad that my schedule was flexible enough to accommodate most of her needs.  The last six months, she required around the clock care.  It’s a good thing she lived with us, we were able to be there for her.  She asked to be able to pass from this life in her own bed.  My husband was able to make that happen for her and she passed peacefully where she wanted to be.

My husband is still working through all the financials and chores that need to be done.  It is an adjustment for him, and me too yes.  The holiday’s were difficult, the room empty.  Family filled that gaping hole with loud boisterous laughing and fun filled companionship.  We still go to tell her we have an errand to run, things of that sort.  Our dog Chewbacca for weeks, went to her room to check on her, he was confused that she was never there anymore.

Adjustments of every sort are on the menu daily.  But, this too will slowly become a seamless transition and the healing will continue with remembering the fonder memories.  Also, the comfort of knowing with certainty, that you did all that was asked of you every time!

God Bless and here’s to a great New Year!  Cyn

Posted in Family, journeys | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Woman’s Prerogative…..

I changed my mind!  Way tooooooo many times, if the truth be told.  But in the end, I have to be wild about the outcome.  The finished product has to talk to me, one way or another, good or needs improvement, sometimes it’s even “go back to the drawing board!”.  There are even times I just put it away for another day!  An idea will come along and I will pull it back out and finish with a flourish.

Well I tore apart my cat afghan square, just didn’t like it at all.  I’m not sure if it was the yarn or what, it just had to go.  I am supremely pleased with this cat square.


I also replaced the edging on the brown cat also, thinking it might be more pleasing……


It’s a little better, I definitely think it’s the yarn!  I will hold it in reserves.  Only time will tell, back to work.

Posted in Needlecrafting | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Why Do We Do It?…..

When you see a Greyhound dog, do you ever remark, “Why would you ever want that one, it’s too skinny and not very attractive?”  When you see a Bulldog, do you ever comment, “Their too heavy, I wouldn’t want to be seen with that one?’  What about a Poodle, “Oh look at all that messy curly hair, who let them out like that?”  Oh and let’s not forget the Dalmation, “That one couldn’t find his way out of a hole, stay away from it”.  Hmmmm?


Bear with me here!  I have never ever heard a comment like that.  All I ever hear is, “Oh, they are so cute”, or “Your dog is beautiful!”  We never seem to criticize the animal kingdom, all God’s creatures are beautiful in their own way.  We travel just to see these majestic animals in their own habitat, visit zoo’s to admire and take pictures galore of our favorites, or sit for hours in a field just to catch a glimpse of a rare bird. Face it, we accept them at face value, just the way they are! Right?, of course right!

Why then do we do it to each other?  We are God’s creation too, yes?  We are all individually beautiful, talented, and praise worthy beings!  Why do we pick each other apart?, to make ourselves feel better?  Sadly, that is probably partly true.  Why can’t we celebrate our differences, enjoy our diversity, have tolerance for others individuality?  We all bring a special brand of personality to everything we do, but so many are judged by their appearance, or nationality, or religion before they are even given an opportunity to be introduced.  Introduced you ask, Yeah introduced to you, to a social setting, to a new job, as a new neighbor, etc.

There are so many reasons, conditions, contributors that come into play.  Everyone has a different set to deal with.  We don’t wear signs announcing, “I have a hypo thyroid”, “I have been abused”, “This is my first day of being able to walk in 3 years”.  My the list could go on forever!  We all have a story.  We all work with the set of circumstances we are dealt and strive for all the love, happiness, peace, achievement and friendship we deserve.



Please spend just one day, to start, smiling at strangers, greeting a passerby with a warm “Good Day”,  finding the beauty in your surroundings, complimenting a stranger or even a loved one during your day, even a “That color looks fantastic on you!” will light up a strangers face.  It is contagious, it should be contagious, think of it as a social infection – a powerful one at that.  A super power!  With just that first day, not only will you feel the warmth of a smile returned, a kind remark to your compliment,  an opening to a conversation with a complete stranger, it becomes an infectious impulse to look for the good and positive, and force the negative away, far away.  Teach it to your children too!

Sorry for the rant, I am striving to head my grandchildren in a positive direction.  Keegan has ACC, it is not a visible disability.  She is judged all the time because her peers (and their parents) can’t see it.  She learns at a slower pace, but dammit, she gets there.  She is in a regular classroom, due to the fact that she is too smart for special ed.  The teasing and hurtful words, I believe, are taught at HOME.  Everything that comes out of the mouth of babes, is just regurgitation of all the nasty, ugly comments they hear their parents make.  Monkey see, monkey do syndrome.

Keegan is working so hard this summer to improve her math and reading, so that she isn’t referred to as the “dummy”.  She is amazing to me,  Yoda would say “Strong she is in determination and perseverance!”  The school has basically just been pushing her through each year, she is probably just under 2 years behind.  But, when the school had given up, so did Keegan for a while.  Together Keegan and I are striving to catch up as much a we can.  Mark my words, She Will Do It!  I have seen her achieve what ever she has set her sites for in the past.

Please, think about my words as the 4th of July approaches .  We need to be kinder to each other.  What makes us a strong country IS our diversity!  With much love….Cyn



Posted in Family, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cat’s Meow…..

Oh, it so great to start a new afghan!  This time it is a request from my daughter Colleen.  She has a good friend who has gone through a very tough time, this past year.  She is a cat fanatic.  Her work space is abounding with cats everywhere too.  We had seen a picture on “Pinterest”, of course.  It’s all their fault, they send me emails every day and I can’t resist!  They draw me in with pictures of items they know I will be interested in and BAM! there goes an hour or so down the rabbit hole. lol.


This is the from Etsy that someone Pinned and we saw the picture.  I thought of buying the pattern, then looked through my cross stitch patterns and decided to try my hand using my pattern instead.  It is very close to this one.  I have a whole bunch of remnants from prior projects and this was a fantastic way to use some of them up!

Here is my first square…..


The jury is still out on the ribbon around neck, will revisit this as I get more squares done.  Colleen approved the pattern and we are a go for more crocheting!

Till then…..Cyn

Posted in Needlecrafting | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

All things Beatles….

On May 18th, this year, Sirius Radio premiered the “Beatles Channel”.  All I could think of was, “It’s about bloody time!”. (now all I need to be in heaven is a Queen Channel, lol)  Well, I immediately programmed the Beatles right into our radios.  Paul was my favorite, who was yours?  Come on we all have a favorite, come clean!  The station has guest who play their favorite lineup and let you know the memories behind their choices.  It is fun to listen to all things Beatles and hear from other musicians how they influenced their lives.

There were two “Beatles” memories in my life that stand out.  The Beatles had already gone on to separate careers by the time I was old enough to understand who they were.  The radio stations I listened to with my friends didn’t play them either.  However, he he he, my brother Chris had the red and blue double albums!  He used to play them and I was so drawn to their sound.  It was upbeat, fun, and irresistible!  Unfortunately, I got caught borrowing his albums without his permission and whooo-wee it wasn’t pretty!  There was only one safe place to run, that was the orchard across the road, lol.  He took some time to cool off, so you would definitely stay away till the coast was clear.

Kids, brothers, siblings, such memories!  I was definitely a pain is his patuttie!  But man he had some great tunes and I really loved his record collection!  It still brings a smile to remember how uncharacteristically ballsy I was when it came to those Beatles albums.  Love ya big brother!

My first recollection of Paul McCartney and Wings was hearing “Uncle Albert” the first time, on the school bus.  Mr. Fish, our driver, always had KFRC playing for us kids.    That still has to be my favorite!  I remember snagging my Pop’s portable radio out of his work room and tuning it into KFRC.  Again, breaking the rules.  I would wait as long as it took to hear the song play, then put it back.  Unfortunately, again I got caught cause I forgot to turn the station back to Pop’s station.  Man, I have always stunk at subterfuge!  Never a good liar either, lol.  Those were the days!  McCartney and Wings became a favorite of mine and still are to this very day.

Music has such power, power over your moods, feelings, and yeah sometime your feet!  My kids could tell what kind of mood I was in, just by the music that would be playing when they came through the door.  Music still has the ability to transform a not so great mood into a much improved mood.  You’ll find that gradually your choices become more and more upbeat, pretty soon you are smiling and singing, the next thing you know you are dancing around and “Bingo” the day is fantastic!  I swear by it!

Music is my therapist, I can tell it anything and it always has the answer I need to hear!….Cyn

Posted in Family, Memories | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment


Just thought I’d share this event that recently happened.  I had just returned home after staying with my Mom while she convalesced after out patient surgery.  Steven took me out to lunch at our favorite burger joint.  We were so involved in each other, catching up and sharing our week apart while standing in line waiting to order.  So oblivious to our surroundings, just concentrating on each other.

There was a younger couple in front of us.  The woman had turned around and looked at us, I just thought she was looking out the window behind us at the beautiful spring day  (one of the few without raindrops hehehe).  Then the gentleman turned to look behind too, I was even more convinced that they were commenting to each other about the view.  They ordered and went outside to the tables to wait and we stepped forward and ordered too.  We also moved out into the beautiful day to await our lunch.

We sat down at a table nearby the couple.  We continued to catch up, hold hands, and laugh at anecdotes from the past week.  This time I noticed that the couple kept turning to look AT ME.  I smiled and kept visiting, trying very hard to get the milkshake to move up the straw so I could taste it. lol  The couple continued to glance back at me and we laughed with them when they delivered their food to our table.  Still not understanding why they were gravitating towards us, we waited for our food.

As our order was delivered to our table, the gentleman got up and came over.  He had tears in his eyes and was struggling to speak through his constricted throat.  Of course we waited till he could compose himself enough to speak.  He kept apologizing for interrupting our lunch, we told him that wasn’t a problem at all, what could we do to help?  The food would wait.  He then proceeded to ask where we lived and did we know Mrs.  ……?  We said we were sorry that we hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting this person and that we lived in Santa Rosa, not Healdsburg where we were having lunch.

He just kept looking at my face and the tears kept falling.  Finally he told me that he was so emotional because his Mother in law had just passed away 3 days ago and they were in town for the funeral.  They had stopped in to grab something to eat before they headed back to the reception.  When they turned around to the sound of my voice, they had just about collapsed.  Not only was my voice and laugh so remarkably similar to their Mother/ Mother in law, I was a doppelganger, spitting image of her!  He just had to come over and make sure that I was real and it wasn’t a trick!  The two of them visited with us for a while, recalling how wonderful a person she had been.

He touched my hand and held it to make sure I was real.  I thanked them for sharing with us and told them I was glad that we had met.  They were sure it was a sign that she was happy and in a wonderful place now.  We reassured them that they most definitely were correct in that assumption!  We reassured them that they had not bothered us, quite the contrary.  We have not forgotten this event, it brings a smile to our hearts that some sort of powerful spirit moved through me to bring peace and closure for a grieving Daughter/Son in law on the very day they laid her to rest!  Amazing Grace…..Cyn

Posted in Family, Inspirational, journeys | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thank You!…..

All the very nice comments sent to my email by wordpress have drawn me back to write.  Time has flown by these last couple months.  The old adage is true, “The older you get, the faster time flies”.  Never realizing that we (Steven and I) were truly the grownups now, we have had to really take a look at what is important these days.  Our parents don’t take care of us anymore – we take care of them; our children need us now more than ever – daycare for grandchildren, looking after our “grand-canines”  when needed: our nieces/nephew/children are moving on and multiplying – we’d love to share in those events! ; especially, it is time to slow down and seriously enjoy our time together!  We have been taking care of everyone but ourselves. lol.

I recently tried to quit working, I truly didn’t think I would be missed. lol.  Our grandchildren needed me for the summer and holy cow the costs of summer care was totally out of line with the wages this damn state/county dishes out.  (Heck, I won’t go there!  very sore spot lol)  So, I tried to quit, resignation not accepted!  I only work 12-18 hours for pete’s sake.  My boss asked me what it would take for me to stay and I told her.  She made it happen, lol.  So, I am still working, but only 12 hours, no weekends or holidays.  My days are free to be with the grandkids and 3 nights a week I get my job done instead.

Our daughter, who had surgery in December ( I think I told you about that) to battle cancer, had a frightening scare that it had metastasized in late April/May.  So with breath held we all prayed, begged, promised anything to the powers that be for this to be a false positive!  I can breath now, our prayers were answered!  I am sure it paid off to have so many “Angels” watching over her too.  My Pop would definitely say it was way too early for one of his grandchildren to join him yet, lol.

My mom had minor surgery again, Steven’s mom is losing her battle with breast/bone cancer and Myasthenia gravis.  So you see, your kind words over the last month or so have been a balm, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am now honored to be the “Pushu-Pullme” that I so loved in Dr. Doolittle, and realize that this is our roll to fulfill at this time in our lives.  Our parents carried that load for us when we were younger, now it is our time.

I have not been idle though, Kacie’s Christmas Stocking is 2/3’s done, I started a new afghan, my yard is happy and healthy and rewarding me with so much in return, and the grandkids will be keeping me company whenever needed!  Who could ask for more?  Steven and I are well and truly blessed in all the ways that are important!  Those are the only blessings we need to thrive.

OOOOOOhhhhh, now that I have started typing again…..  look for me with more of my soirees into whatever strikes my fancy, lol…… Cyn

Posted in Family, journeys | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment